WHY I GO TO CHURCH - Part II

In my previous post, I discussed my sense of culpability and responsibility as a Christian as major reasons for attending church. This may need further explanation. As I mentioned in my post on the "Unaffiliated Nones," I could easily see myself becoming unaffiliated, and find myself, periodically, on the fringe of being one.  The simple fact is it would be easy to become unaffiliated, to go it alone.  At least theoretically, it would be easy.

LEAVING A CHURCH

I get why people leave their churches. Most leave because staying frequently feels like fighting a losing battle.  In some Christian denominations that is understandable, but Christianity is much larger than one's local church, one's denomination or brand of Christianity.

For instance, when I left the Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod, I did so from, amongst other things, a recognition that I wasn't the Lutheran I thought I was.  I recognized that I could not change what I saw as wrong in their practice of "closed" or "close" communion, for instance, which functionally prohibits other baptized Christians from taking communion in their congregations much the same way Roman Catholic churches do.  This pietistic practice offended my sensibility of what I believed was Jesus' intent and purpose during the Last Supper.

It was one of many things I could neither change nor accept within that denomination.  To stay any longer would have resulted in my feeling miserable and inwardly hypocritical.  Do not misunderstand me.  I do not hate or dislike Lutherans or the Missouri Synod brand of Lutheranism.  I have many friends in that church. In fact being raised and having attempted to enter into its ordained ministry taught me a great deal about myself and the church. I also began to understand that there are paths of understanding that are just as valid if not more so than being a Lutheran or even being a Christian.

While in the Missouri Synod, I studied eastern religions and read works by Thich Nhat Hanh.  To be honest when I did this I sometimes felt like a closet heretic.  It was rather exciting, in the sense one gets from enjoying forbidden fruit.  It was also liberating, but I had to keep it to myself.  Sharing what I learned from what I was reading would have been met with disdain from some in my church and risked being put on a prayer chain by others.  Nevertheless, I am grateful for what Lutheranism gave me.

In some way, I felt guided to leave. It would take their rejection of me as their lead organist and choir director to make me realize I needed to move on. I needed a shove to get me out of the door.  The reality was there wasn't room for me or my young family to grow there.  I couldn't change what happened and I couldn't change them.  I realized that I did not need to try, but could change what church my family attended, one that resonated with us, one that had room to grow in, and for a while we floated on the tranquil waters of a local United Methodist church where I served as their organist. We remained technically unaffiliated until we decided to become members of another denomination.  The truth is I could have become Methodist, but we missed a more liturgical worship setting, which we found in the Episcopal Church.

FINDING A CHURCH

Becoming an Episcopalian was like breathing fresh air. After awhile, being a Missouri Synod Lutheran seemed like nothing more then a preparatory course for becoming Episcopalian.  Without knowing it, I was raised on the liturgy found in the Episcopal Church's Book of Common Prayer, which was almost adopted verbatim by the Missouri Synod with regard to its Holy Communion liturgy, including most of its collects (prayers). It was an easy transition and an easy fit.  We didn't jump in right away.  It took some time. 

We had a Lutheran friend who had joined this church before us.  We started attending their Lenten Services, something we were use to in the Lutheran Church, but which wasn't being offered in the Methodist Church.  I was intrigued because the Lenten Services were said services.  During these services an English gentleman, who came to this part of the world to be a headmaster at  Native American school for girls, was giving the homily in which he talked about the Holy Land, Palestine he called it, as he was serving in the British Army at the time.  The simplicity and intentionality of those services appealed to me.  I was worshiping without having to do something.  I didn't realize how much I missed just sitting in a pew and taking things in. 

What ended getting us there were simple invitations.  People in the pew behind us, saying, "Think about joining us," and one dear lady who grabbed my arm on the way out of the church door whispering in my ear, "Come."  That's all, just come.  The simplicity and directness spoke to my heart and that is when we started going to this little Episcopal church.

Richard Hooker

The other attraction in becoming an Episcopalian, for me, was learning about Richard Hooker's paradigm for Anglicanism's theological structure: Scripture, Tradition, and Reason.

Although Hooker placed scripture above all else, he understood the need for correcting the inevitable wrongs that would occur in church polity through the guidance by the Holy Spirit and reason.   Reason was the air that stirred my spirit.  That we have a say in the religion we are a part of was church-shattering to say the least for me.  This concept gave me the freedom to think openly, and at the same time, it also made me feel responsible for my thoughts.

Blaming God for any stupid acts done by Christians was no longer an option.  Whether Hooker intended it or not, he made Christians responsible and culpable for what Christianity does and he carefully (a particular necessity in the 16th century) guides Christians to use reason to find solutions within the parameters of scripture and tradition.

Let me be very clear, I don't go to church to be a pew critic or to be its resident skeptic.  In addition, I don't go to church to earn myself a place in heaven, and I don't go to church to become more Bible-smart.

THE REASONS I GO

Rather I go to church because of a deep connection with the source of all being that I feel there, a connection which is beyond any belief or skepticism residing within me.  I recognize that source as the Self beyond self, God.

I go to church to be inspired in a number of ways: through prayer, through the liturgy, the readings, the homilies, and the sacraments.

I go to commune, along with my fellow human beings, in a "thin place" where we take a mere sliver of time to encounter a deeper sense of the Self we all are part of.

I go to Church to care, to join my heart, my spiritual center, with other hearts in communion with the heart of all that is.

I go to church to embrace and be embraced by a deep sense of being loved and to be loving.

I go to church to heal (through my music) and be healed by the beauty of worship.

I go to church to forgive a broken world and offer it absolution in the simple act of eating bread and drinking wine as the broken body and poured out blood of Christ; to be one with Christ who forgives all.

I go to church to let go: to accept what is and to strengthen my faith to meet what will be without the drama of insisting anything has to fit my scheme of things.

I go to church to remind myself of the inner peace that is available to all.

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To be honest, I don't always think of why I go to church every time I'm in church.  Rather I can say these things truthfully by stepping back and looking at what it is that motivates me to go to church at any given moment. Some reasons may be more prevalent at times than others.   I also realize what motivates me may not motivate others.  Others may well come up with different reasons that motivate them.

Like all major theistic religions, Christianity is vast in scope and has many different types of homes, places of worship, under its umbrella.

Churches should be there for everybody, but reality is that some aren't. I know the little church I attend is and most Episcopal churches are.  I also know there are other churches of various denominations that are open and welcoming to anyone who enters their doors regardless of who they are or where they're at in their life's journey; churches willing to share their most holy moments without reservation. That's the way it should be; that's the way of Christ, and that's why I go to church.

Until next time, stay faithful.